oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm both gender and math confused
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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