that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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