my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
