got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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