16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
