i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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