do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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