She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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