That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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