I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
