turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
