Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
