Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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