No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
