There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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