Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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