bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Best friends brother. Beat that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
