You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
