CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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