Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Panties = found
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
