Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
