why didn't you poke me back
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
