dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
