Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
