When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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