the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
