I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
