everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You're like the curious george of whores
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
