Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
