Having a random hookup so left but love u
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
