i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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