I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize