do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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