You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
