So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
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she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
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So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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