How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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