garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
