Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize