I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
