im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
