I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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