We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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