I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
