I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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