69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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