Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
