i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
