Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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