Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
