I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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