this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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