I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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