Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
