Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
