just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we're so committed to being not committed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
