He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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