Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize