just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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